Funny Top Ten Lists and The New Theory of Humor By Don G. Asmus

Although funny top ten lists are a relatively new form of humor, various theories about the nature of humor have been around for thousands of years. Beginning with the ancient Greek philosophers, well over one hundred theories have been proposed to explain exactly why we find certain things funny. Thus far, however, none of these theories has ever been accepted as a totally adequate explanation.

Nonetheless, British evolutionary theorist Alastair Clark thinks that he has finally come up with a universal theory of humor, which he calls the Pattern Recognition Theory.

What did you say old chap?

In the preamble to his new theory, Clarke makes several interrelated points. First, our ability to instantly recognize various patterns in the natural world has proven to be a tremendous advantage in the survival and advancement of human beings. Second, language is also based upon this same inborn ability to quickly recognize patterns.

Finally, humor can not be explained in terms of content or subject matter. This is evidenced by the fact that different audiences (males vs. females; young vs. old) often respond quite differently to the very same content and subject matter.

Before we take a look at the exact wording that Clarke uses to describe his theory, keep in mind that the British have always been better known for their funny way of speaking, than their sense of humor. Clarke's single-sentence explanation of his new Pattern Recognition Theory serves as further evidence of this tendency: "Humour occurs when the brain recognizes a pattern that surprises it, and this recognition is rewarded with the experience of a humorous response."

We should probably be grateful that Clarke wasn't trying to explain why sex is so much fun. Actually, his theory is quite appealing, but his choice of words makes the explanation of his theory rather difficult to follow.

Translating the new theory into English.

The confusion arises from these eight words: "the brain recognizes a pattern that surprises it." Although this statement may be technically accurate, it does not tell enough of the story.

If you are willing to spend enough time to closely study Clarke's various examples and clarifications, it becomes clear that the definition should have been expanded to say something like this: We consider something to be funny if, in an unlikely or shocking situation, we compare it to our mental image of something else, and are surprised to see a similarity between the two images.

The pleasurable sensation of laughter that follows is nature's way of rewarding us for successfully detecting similarities that could someday save our lives.

Perhaps this example will help. A young woman (who has a mental image of what childbirth is going to be like) hears comedian Carol Burnett say that "giving birth is like pulling your upper lip over your head." The young woman suddenly bursts into laughter. What causes this response?

According to the Pattern Recognition Theory, the young woman found herself in the shocking situation of hearing a comedian describe something she may never have expected to hear mentioned in public. Her surprise at seeing the similarity between the mental image of childbirth depicted by Burnett, and the one already stored in her brain, caused the outburst of laughter.

Why does humor work this way? According to Clarke, humor is just one of many cognitive functions and has nothing to do with comedy. It's part and parcel of the same survival mechanism that helps us to quickly interpret patterns that could actually pose a threat to our lives. Therefore, humor is an important contributor to our continuing survival and success as a species.

What did you expect an evolutionary theorist would say?

I say old chap, what about funny top ten lists?

In the case of funny top ten lists, several mental images are potentially available for comparison. The first image is generated by the headline of the list. The next set are created by the humorously worded entries that comprise the body of the list. The final image is the one the reader carries around in his or her head about the subject. Whenever the reader is surprised by the similarity between a set of images, a particular list entry is deemed to be funny.

However, if the reader has no experience with a particular subject headline or list entry, then no mental images can be compared for similarities. And no surprising recognitions (or humorous responses!) will result. The writer of this list will slink off to contemplate other career options, while the survival of the human race will be left hanging in the balance.

Will the new Pattern Recognition Theory stand the twin tests of time and critical analysis? That's hard to predict. Many other initially attractive theories of humor have come and gone.

Astute comedy writers may be asking themselves a very similar question: Funny top ten lists may be wildly popular today, but where will they be in ten or twenty years from now? Not surprisingly, the author hopes that they will still be getting the last ten laughs!

Copyright 2009. Funniest Top Ten Lists. All rights reserved.

Don G. Asmus is the List Master at http://www.FunniestTopTenLists.com/ where he consistently creates the funniest top ten lists on the Internet.

Vampire Life Part 3 - A New Vampire's Proper Wardrobe and That All-important First Date By Larry Schliessmann

Several weeks to three months beyond the day of your Turning, life will seem vastly different as will your appearance.

By now, your once supple tanned flesh glows pale under moonlight, may appear slightly translucent and feel like chamois. Not to worry, this is perfectly normal for a new vampire. Consider it the new you, and with time you will learn to appreciate and even value your new look.

In addition, the effect it will have on prey may prove entertaining as you watch their alarm fade into adoration before the Taking. Once you have perfected the art of Mesmerization, their expressions will be full of adulation immediately before they feel a deep sense of love.

Male or female, feel free to dabble in cosmetics, as you did before Turning. However, too much vivid color will look garish, something no self-respecting vampire finds appealing.

As an apprentice vampire, you will discover that normally you will not need a wardrobe different than the one you owned previously. You can put away the sunglasses and of course, you no longer need to worry about sunscreen. As I stated earlier, exposure to direct sunlight means death.

On the occasion that your vampire, or perhaps a guy, or gal vampire you've met since Turning suggests a night on the town, and you feel ready to be seen in a crowd of normals, those poor mortal creatures, it will be your moment to shine.

However, what I'm suggesting will require preparation. The only clothes you may own are those you wore when you Turned, unless you were Turned while assuming sex was eminent and you hastily undressed in anticipation. Either way, shopping is the order of the day, er, night.

Be aware that some store lighting may hurt your eyes if you stare directly into it. Otherwise, assuming you're dressed to begin with, no one will really notice you. So feel free to shop until, well, sunrise, or earlier to be certain you return home safely.

While mixing with mortals you'll learn despite the occasional odd look tossed in your direction, that they'll take for granted you are one of them, but since you're so pale they'll think you must hate sunlight, or don't get outside much.

See how clever mortals can be? Wait until you can mesmerize and then you will so understand rubbernecking (sic).

If you and your date are shopping together, and there is safety in numbers, you might ask his or her opinion about what you intend to purchase, or steal if you are broke. You have a problem with that? Come on, you are dead, and besides who is going to stop you? It's not as if you plan to make a habit of it. Moreover, if you're worrying about going to hell instead of heaven, you need to lie down and think about your new life.

What you cannot do while shopping is use those lovely full length mirrors you once preened in front of while dressing. Since you are dead, you no longer have a reflection. This can become a nuisance if you have a salesclerk hovering nearby, which is why I suggest you shop with a companion. They can distract, and also let you know how you look, and if the colors go well with your new complexion.

By now, you may have discovered that your hair does not grow longer than it was the minute you Turned. So why bother with haircuts? You might need to get a trim so you fit in with current styles. Remember, you'll live centuries if you are intelligent and wary of mortals bearing gifts. Styles do have a way of changing with disgusting regularity.

Until now, I discussed dating another vampire. So, let's make this discussion much more interesting.

You have seen a person you've decided you want to Turn just because you can. Yes, it might be just because you can, or any of several other reasons including my favorite hunger. However, why you do anything now is entirely up to you.

Approach him or her as you would have before you Turned, flirt, and be attentive. Guys: don't act like idiots, women enjoy humor and intelligence, not touchy feely on a first date. Gals: you know already what guys want, um I mean, other than sex. They want you to make them feel more important, needed. Just don't get too weak-kneed. You're about to alter the course of their life permanently, or oops possibly end it.

Buy them drinks, dinner, take them to a show, movie, whatever, and at the end of the night, invite them home, of course. I leave the rest up to you. Just remember to use the same technique with him or her as your vampire used when Turning you.

In addition, remember this important adage, you are what you eat. So, if you take him or her to dinner, skip fast food unless you need more fat in your diet. Wine and dine him or her at an expensive restaurant. Trust me; you'll be happy you did.

Happy dating and good luck with you first Turning!

Next: Proper Vampire etiquette and the all-important, clean-up when a Turning goes too far.

Larry Schliessmann http://schliessmann.blogspot.com/
http://www.redroom.com/member/schliessmann